I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
