I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
