I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
