She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The Olympian is in my bed
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
