eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
