I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
