I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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