Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
