I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
