You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Come share oat with me in your robe
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
