I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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