i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
