i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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