i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
