wanna go halves on a baby?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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