She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i out mim tonsoeep
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