i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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