when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
