So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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