I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
