Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
