Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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