Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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