I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
