I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
