Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I need a burrito and a hug.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
