I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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