Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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