matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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