Cold hands, warm shart.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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