Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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