dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
farters have to be the big spoon...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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