Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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