is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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