i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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