I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
