i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
