her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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