I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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