Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
