Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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