I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
