My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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