just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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