I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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