my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
