cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
