This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He uses pillows to masturbate.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
