Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
