the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
