You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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