God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
