i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Actions speak louder than pants.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
