I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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