You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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