i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
