hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
