omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
