Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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